When I first heard of what the assignment for week 2 would be, I was confused. I wasn’t because I didn’t know what it meant, I was confused about whether or not this was meant seriously. I thought the idea was odd, and kind of morbid. But I also found it to be intriguing, and an opportunity to try to play with my own fears. My biggest fear, without a doubt, is heights.
The idea of being in an airplane scares me. Rollercoasters have always been a concept that puzzles me. I couldn’t imagine finding enjoyment in them. I am horrified by the idea of being in any kind of situation where I would be suspended above the ground with no where to go but down or higher up, the latter of which would only make the way down longer.
This project allowed me the opportunity to feel what it would be like to be at the bottom of such an elevated fall. The pictures I took portrayed the aftermath of a person falling from a higher floor. I am often wondering what the mistake that could change my life may be. I always fear that some minor slip up could cause something like what the pictures depict. In the pictures I have a pair of earphones wrapped around my neck. Here I would have been paying more attention to the earphones and my phone than to my surroundings, which made me misstep and led to my downfall. Not paying attention to the world around me can make my life progress as an isolated one until the very end, as it would in this hypothetical situation.
As I laid alone and unmoving, looking up at the night sky, I felt my body become colder like a corpse would as I felt some of the loneliness the plunge to the ground would provide. Any power or knowledge I had would be gone and useless, as the only thing I could do would be to accept the result. The activity allowed me to feel a sample size of what the falls I fear would be like and what they could do to me.
Actually creating the scene was more fun. Picking an isolated, grimy looking spot and a situation for the pictures that was best for me was creatively challenging. Deciding to use one of my own fears for the landscape allowed me to explore a fear that controls decisions I make and to better understand why I fear it. The activity helped me understand why I fear heights, and better understanding that fear is something that can help me confront it and reverse the role of power in my relationship with my fear of heights.